June 2011

I am back from Japan and am trying to figure out what it all means.

There is such an urgent need for believers to flood that land with Love and Hope, and there just isn't the response that is necessary. My heart is broken and my Spirit is stirred.

What does it all mean?

Do I give up my life here and try to go live there as a missionary?

Do I stay here and witness in America? After all, we need the Gospel too.

I just don't know. I only know that I do not have a peace being here right now. But will 3 weeks be enough to give me that peace? What about 3 months? 3 years?

What does the Lord have for me?

I think that for the first time in my life I am open to God's will. For years now I have been praying "Here am I send me"...and meant it in my own way (husband, kids, house)...but if God asks, I will abandon that to live in the evacuee camps with the Japanese...or go spend thousands of dollars I don't have for school trusting that God will make it clear why.

But again, what does the Lord have for me?

I think it's up for me to decide...

Micah 6:8

"He has told you, O man, what is good;

   and what does the LORD require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

   and to walk humbly with your God?"

Deuteronomy 10:12-13

"And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?"

So, now I must pray and search to make a decision. Do I stay or do I go? Which is walking in serving the Lord with all my heart? Which is justice and kindness walking humbly with God? Pray with me, because depending on my heart and my calling, it could be either. 

Music: "There is No One Like" By Hillsong United

Books: Acts...didn't have much time to read anything else. But I love this book a ton because Paul shares the Gospel via his testimony several times. How are we doing at that? Do you open up to God's power in your own life with others?

May 2011

May has been a whirlwind, and I am glad to say I finally got some of the answers I have been searching for since February...

I will be going to Japan from June 14-27 to help with relief work and am almost entirely funded and ready to go.

I will be moving to AZ in July (when is still to be determined).

It's been a rollercoaster of a month, and I didn't stop or slow down once. I have been exhausted, excited, sad and lonely.

Sitting here and trying to remember it piece by piece is impossible. I only remember saying goodbye to all my coworkers for the last time, knowing that I won't ever work with them on this earth.
I also rememebr saying goodbye to my kiddos, knowing soon they won't even remember be.

I ended my month by getting up at 3:45 AM to say goodbye to my roommate, her fiance and my good friend Nate. May 31 was a very emotional day as I sent them ahead of me to AZ and let the reality of Japan and moving set in.

I am excited to see what God does with June, and I promise to try and remember it better...See my other blog for Japan photos/posts as that time draws near.

Books: (Still working on The Suicide Club...enjoying it)

Music: (Learning Japanese via CD)