April 2011

April has been busy and hard. Here are the highlights:

     - I got into a grad school program, and will be moving out of state (and away from my whole family, and almost all my close friends) by August, but have had no success in finding a summer job...which means I may be out there as early as June.
         - My heart is torn between here and there, and so is my energy. I have spent more than a few hours looking for a job but to no avail and I am tiring of the continued splitting of my efforts.

     - I took a few days before Easter to fly out west and visit my best friend from the third grade. I was a bitter sweet visit, and I am so glad that I made the time to get out there.

     - I turned 25.

That's really just my month in a nutshell. A lot of it has been logistics and job hunting, as well as the normal swing of things. I am still down and I am still exhausted, but am hopeful that my God will pull me through, and trusting that he will.

...Jesus' blood never failed me yet...and I seriously doubt it ever will


Books this month: The Mysterious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Ragamuffin Gospel. I'm about half way through the Ragamuffin Gospel and though there's a lot of Catholicism in it, I highly recommend it. I also really enjoyed Jekyll and Hyde, if you haven't read it, you should, it's a classic and it's worth it.


Songs this month: Fail Us Not (1000 Generation, Love is Waiting (Brooke Fraser)...really that whole album (Albertine), and Hold My Heart (Tenth Avenue North)

March 2011

I am starting to think this month, by month journal is going to be tougher than I thought. This month felt like 3...

I started out this month in anticipation of Spring Break, hopeful for rest, and answers...I don't really even remember much from those weeks, other than the waiting...

Spring break and the week after were amazing, it was encouraging and I was given a lot of clarity, and answers. I got an interview for a grad school program and have a better vision for my future. I got to rest a bit and see others living in fresh faith, which was refreshing to my soul.

Then, there was the end of the month, and despite the answers and refreshing I ended the month with nothing left to give and a deep sense of despair and discouragement. I've been self-sufficient for a while, and asking the Lord to help me lean on Him instead, and He will be faithful to answer that prayer.

For no reason other than the busyness of my life I am completely exhausted and because my health has been horrible, I am discouraged...

So, this has been a roller coaster of a ride and I will be excited when I come off on the other side, relying on the Lord's strength and not my own, and full of joy once again.

Every once in a while, we have dry seasons, and every once in a while we have sad seasons. As one who's struggled with depressions for at least half of my life I am not unaccustomed to despair and discouragement, but I am surprised that it's hit now and ready for it to leave...

See you next month, where I will hopefully have peace and joy once again.

Books this Month: Dracula, Notes From the Tilt-a-whirl, George Mueller (I highly recommend Dracula and George Mueller's biography. Notes From a Tilt-a-Whirl was good, and challenges the Christian status quo...I enjoyed it and if you are up for a non-typical book about God, you should totally go for this one)


Songs this Month: Praise God (Steele Crosswhite), Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone (Chris Tomlin)   ***Also, this month I got a CD player in my car, so I can listen to my own music once again instead of relying on the radio. I am excited beyond words about this!!!***